"QUANTUM SHOT" #194
In case you wondered, and are male - these are the rules we abide by. If you are a girl reading this, then you can just refresh your memory.
MEN RULES: Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the "other one "
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
(Source: email, original unknown)
Guys! Be careful not to aggravate your girlfriend TOO much; otherwise you're going to see scenes like these:
Romance... starts like this
but may end sooner than you think
Try to keep your thoughts off lingerie for a minute...
There is always a choice:
(images credit: Exler)
Girls! Remember, guys need space. ...you can join them there:
Guys can do some extreme ironing, too:
(more images at this site)
Images courtesy: Extreme Ironing
"Women's Facial Expressions"
Best of Church Humor, Ways to Annoy People
Dark Roasted Blend's Photography Gear Picks:
||The Biggest Guns in Human History
"It's not the size that counts" does not seem to apply
DRB Feel-Good Issue #35
Loads of cool and rare imagery
Wacky Wonders of Public Transportation
"Dark Roasted Blend" - All Kinds of Weird and Wonderful Things, Discovered Daily!"
DRB is a top-ranked and respected source for the best in art, travel and fascinating technology, with a highly visual presentation. Our in-depth articles in many categories make DRB a highly visual online magazine, bringing you quality entertainment every time you open your "feed" reader or visit our site - About DRB
Connect with us and become part of DRB on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google Plus; make sure to subscribe to our updates.
SF ART & BOOK REVIEWS:|
Don't miss: The Ultimate Guide to NEW SF&F Writers!
Fiction Reviews: Classic Cyberpunk: Extreme Fiction
Short Fiction Reviews: Lovecraft's "At the Mountains of Madness" (with pics)
New Fiction Reviews: The Surreal Office
READ OTHER RECENT ARTICLES:
||Hellish Weather on Other Planets
Wild, Untamed, and Uncut
||Medieval Suits of Armor
Metal Body Suits vs. Weapons of Medieval Destruction
||World's Strangest Theme Parks
Amusement to the (twisted) extremes!
||Enchanting Victorian Fairy Tale Art
"Then world behind and home ahead..."
||Adorable Pedal Cars
Collectable Pedal Vehicles Showcase
Japanese Arcades: Gundam Pods & Other Guilty Pleasures
These machines have gone up to the next level
Modernist Tallinn Architecture
Delicious blend of old and new!
Early Supercomputers: A Visual Overview
"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons"
Futuristic Concept Cars of the 1970-80s
French, Italian & Japanese rare beauties
Epic 1970s French Space Comic Art
DRB Time-Slice: Valérian and Laureline
The Trees Are Escaping! The Abandoned Prison in French Guiana
"Great Escape" from the Devil's Island
Videophones from the Future Past
Skype? Smartphone? Google Hangouts?
||The Best of DRB in 2014
Weird & Wonderful 2014 Overview
(with previews, fast loading):
Feel-Good & Biscotti Issues
Feel-Good! | airplanes | animals | architecture | art | auto | boats | books | cool ads | funny pics | famous | futurism | food
gadgets | health | history | humour | japan | internet | link latte | military | music | nature | photo | russia | steampunk
sci-fi & fantasy | signs | space | sports | technology | trains | travel | vintage | weird | abandoned