Here's a new article by author M. Christian (from "Meine kleine fabrik"). M. Christian loves to write about the odd, weird, and wonderful things hidden all around us.
It's Not The Size That Counts ... Or Is It?
For as long as men have had them, they've been trying to see who has the biggest one. You have a dirty mind: I'm talking about CANNONS.
1. Chinese Hand Cannons
Although they aren't known for having the biggest, the Chinese were definitely the first builders and also the first to point them at people they didn't like. For many reasons, though, they stopped using them, mostly because while the big guns terrified the folks they were pointed at, they also had a little defect. They blew up.
Chinese Hand Cannon - Bronze firearm, Yuan dynasty (1271-1368 AD). Photo by Yannick Trottier
A functional miniature replica of a Chinese Hand cannon, and a Hand Bombard, Europe 1380
Europeans really took to the idea of a thick metal cylinder, a charge of gunpowder, and a nasty surprise to hurl at people they didn't like. A first these early cannons were simple mortars: a lump of bell-shaped iron (because bell-makers were the first cannon-makers) with a hole for the charge and the shell. They still exploded as often as they fired, but unlike the Chinese, the Europeans thought the bang was worth the buck. As long as someone else lit the fuse, that is.
Once they got that whole "exploding in your face" thing fixed, or at least tuned down to a dull roar, they really began to really play the "mine is bigger than yours" game.
2. The First True Supergun
The first true "supergun" to be unzipped and waved at people was The Great Turkish Bombard, which was also called the Dardanelles Gun, the Royal Gun, the Hungarian Cannon, Muhammed's Great Gun or the less common but more honest "Good Lord, Look at the Size Of That Thing."
Built in 1453 in Hungary and used by turks to conquer Constantinople, they shocked their builders by unexpectedly doing what they were designed to do: lobbing a 1,500 pound granite sphere at whoever they were pointed at.
3. Tsar's Bragging Monster
Not to be outdone, the Russians swaggered up with their own Mutually Assured Demolisher. Forged in 1585, the Tsar Cannon was a 35-inch-wide yawning monster designed to toss 800 pounds of grapeshot -- a whole lot of little balls instead of one big one -- at people unliked. The Tsar was never fired, but that didn't stop the Russian military from boring everyone by bragging about how huge it was.
Another huge cannon: Mons Meg, made in 1449 and actually fired for almost 200 years - is now located at Edinburgh Castle, Scotland:
3. Trench Horror Upgrade
It's said that the first world war was truly the first modern war. Poison gas, tanks, air combat, the machine gun -- they were all gleefully experimented with during those years of trench horror. But the classics were used as well, the old standby of thick metal cylinder, a charge of gunpowder, and a nasty surprise, never really going out of style. But as this was a modern war, the classic cannon got a big -- a very big -- upgrade as well.
It's odd that such a phallic monster got a woman's name, but the always-romantic Krupp engineers did just that: smashing champagne over the 17-inch-caliber gun, they christened it after their boss's -- possibly zaftig -- daughter. Big Bertha, or more accurately "Fat Bertha" was a hit with the German military, showing the Belgians at Liège, Namur and Antwerp, and the French at Maubeuge who had the really big one.
(image courtesy of C. Luzent, les Canons de l'Apocalypse)
But that wasn't enough. Sure Bertha had the thickness and the length, but what the Germans wanted was something to really show off -- especially since those swaggering Americans were about to enter the game.
4. Long Max to follow Big Bertha
Searching for something they could stuff into their Eastern Front to make themselves look bigger, they glanced out at sea and hit on the idea of transplantation instead of simple enhancement. To put it simply, the Long Max was a naval gun, the biggest one the Germans had. Luckily it quickly got its land legs: on the battlefield it showed its potency by shooting off 1,600 pound shells a respectable distance ... of 30 miles.
(Comparison of 30.5 cm/50 and 38 cm/45 guns, image by Peter Lienau)
American naval ordnance on wheels; a 14in., 30 mile gun... entire train composed of rail artillery...
But that wasn't enough. The Paris Gun wasn't named because it reminded those warm-hearted Krupps of the famous City Of Light. Hardly. Another transplanted naval piece, the gun has sometimes been called the first terror weapon.
Although it needed a lot of maintenance, didn't shoot anything very heavy or destructive, but it still horrified that romantic city by dropping shells from ... wait for it ... 80 miles away.
It was a monster to the Germans as well -- mounted on a special train carriage, it was so loud that a set of regular artillery was fired along with it to hide its thunderous discharge.
Side note:
An interesting Electric Cannon concept (uses no gun powder!) from 1932:
"SILENT guns sending their whistling messengers of death into the sky at speeds far beyond those now attained by powder-driven shells..."
Then, as Monty Python said, peace broke out and everyone got much more polite about the size of their ammunition. Howitzers and field pieces tucked away, the refined gentleman nations of the world played croquet and gin rummy for a few decades until someone -- we're looking at you, Germany -- decided to wave their barrels and calibers in everyone's faces.
No doubt about it, the Schwerer Gustav certainly was impressive. Like the old Paris gun, this monster belonged to the German Navy, but unlike the piece that had frightened the City of Light, the Schwerer Gustav was more than a thunderous braggart.
First gun was named "Gustav", the second - "Dora":
Read the convoluted history of these guns deployment on this page.
And see this rare video of "the biggest gun in the world" firing:
The monster was so huge it took a team of 2,500 "volunteers" to lay track for it, and the train carrying and supporting it was 25 cars long, about a mile.
Unlike the Paris version, it only had a range of about 30 miles, but this one could really satisfy -- the Germans, that is -- by throwing a shell that didn't weigh just 1,000, 2,000, or even 3,000 pounds. When the Germans showed off their prize piece, people really took notice. Hell, who wouldn't when the damned thing could fire a 7,100-kilogram shell? (That's more like 15,620 (US) lbs)
See the 3-D drawings of German railway guns on this page, made by Greg Heuer:
7. The Centipede Supergun
The Germans weren't the only ones obsessed with the size of their guns. The Brits and the Americans were not to be outdone, but they certainly seemed to be constantly looking down at their drawing boards, and wondering how their guns could be even bigger. Before peace again broke out, Germany had one last idea, a gun that, once and for all, would given them ultimate bragging rights.
What makes the V3 Hochdruckpumpe ("High Pressure Pump", or "Centipede") gun so interesting is that it wasn't one gun but a bunch of smaller ones that fired in precise order to kick its shell faster and faster. Part of the whole Victor Weapon package that included the V1 Buzz Bomb and the V2 (the first ballistic missile), the V3 was to be permanently mounted in a concrete fortress in France where it would have blasted a 300-pound shell more than 100 miles, straight into the heart of London. Possibly jealous of what the Nazis had stuffed into their reinforced concrete pants, the Yanks and the Brits blasted the gun into oblivion while it was an unfired virgin.
8. More-Than-Supergun to reach stratosphere
Things got coolly polite after the war. We and They still obsessed over the sizes of our pieces, but new toys had begun to seriously threaten the satisfyingly primal big bang of massive artillery. Missiles, luckily, hadn't completely stolen the show. Back in '61 two superpowers, the US and ... Canada? ... worked with the genius gun-designer Gerald Bull on the HARP system, a more-than-supergun designed to reach to the edge of the stratosphere.
Like those charming folks at Krupps, Bull loved his guns. After HARP went flaccid, Bull tried to find someone else to back his idea of a true supergun, a piece to end all pieces, the thing that would show the world who really had the biggest. His ultimate project was called Project Babylon, and while Bull's final intentions are a bit hazy, no one doubts that what he really wanted to do was make a gun big enough to do what HARP didn't have a chance to do: fire something into space.
Bull was a genius. But he was profoundly stupid in one very crucial way: his choice of clients.
After knocking on all kinds of doors for Project Babylon sponsors, he finally managed to secure the backing of the president of a Middle Eastern country, who'd write the checks if Bull the gun master would build the biggest one in human history.
9. Saddam's Supergun spells doom for its inventor
The problem was the signature on those checks belonged to Saddam Hussein (more info), and a lot of his neighbors began to get kind of ...well, twitchy about someone like Hussein being able to wave Bull's massive piece around, especially, if Bull had succeeded, it would have been able to fire a shell almost 500 miles.
In the end Bull didn't succeed, not because of poor engineering but because of a considerably smaller gun.
A tiny thing, really, compared to what he wanted to show the world. But, as the old saying goes, it's not the size that counts but what you do with it. And the Mossad -- the Israeli Secret Service, you know -- knew just what to do with their small gun: put a tiny bullet in the brain of the man who was building a supergun for Saddam Hussein.
Making all sci-fi punks in the world "feel lucky", since 2008
(for other weekly "Biscotti" issues - see our main page and monthly archives)
COMMENTS:
19 Comments:
KaiserTroll said...
If you like big ones you'll like the "Monster", a German project from WWII, one like many others who will never see the light. http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Landkreuzer_P._1500_Monster and it's specs : http://www.panzerschreck.de/panzer/pzkpfw/p1500.html
wow...that's soooo original...making phallic references in an article about artillery. As if engineering weapons with longer range and heavier payload didn't mean bigger?!?
Great topic, poorly written. reads like the author has penis envy problem.... DRB can do and has done much better. Juvenile writing at best on this one.
That Russian "electric cannon" is basically a coil- or Gauss gun isn't it? Has such a large coilgun ever been built? And about the silentness of such a gun, I wonder to what extent the sound of the shell breaking the sound barrier when fired would match the sound of a conventional gun.
However, your big gun page ain't gonna be complete without the Jaivan from India ( sorry for the national sentiment!) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jaivana_cannon
Re. the so-called "Iraqi Super-gun": I never really understood why everyone was so worried? I mean it's not like you can move the bloody thing around, and concealing it would be a cast-iron bitch. And with todays counter-battery-radars and satellite surveillance....well, let's just say that about 30 seconds after you fire the first shot, everyone and her brother knows, to within a few yards, where your big, precious, sitting-duck supergun is located.
As for the "silent" electromagnetic gun, Bart said: "And about the silentness of such a gun, I wonder to what extent the sound of the shell breaking the sound barrier when fired would match the sound of a conventional gun." Based on my experience (which is not exactly substantial) with silenced magnum-caliber rifles, it won't be quite as loud, and the noise it makes won't "sound like" a cannon firing. I still think everybody in the neighbourhood will be aware that some serious machinery is in operation, though...
Gerald Bull had a history of over promoting his projects (like the "Stratosphere Gun"). It is just as likely he was killed by Iraqi agents over failure to deliver as by Mosad.
another amazing post. is there anyone else out there who would just love to drop everything and devote oneself to the rehabilitation of these beautiful castles/mansions? not just here, but in other post as well, all that architecture and beauty seems to just be tossed to the way side. i've got to get citizenship in some other countries :)
Interesting article, but I have to say that nearly all of these look like vanilla mansions with some turrets stuck in -- not what I would call breathtaking works of originality.
2 more castles from germany come to my mind the "Wartburg" and "Königstein Fortress" but i dont know, where u can find apropriate pictures for this great website
Hi Avi! I'm avalonne83 from The Black Cat (http://avalonne83.blogspot.com/). I nominated you for the Brillante Weblog Award 2008! See my blog post here:http://avalonne83.blogspot.com/2008/07/nomination.html
Great as always, though that last photograph of Rita Hayworth I'm sure is from WWII, people would give up any metal possible for the war effort. I don't think it's from the 50's!
The Banksy art wasn't a marketing campaign, it's street art. I'd read it as a comment on commercialization and capitalism. Tesco is the biggest retailer in the UK.
i find it amazing that, still to this day, even with all of our knowledge and technology, that we can not translate lol. that is to show how diverse 'language' is; another awesome post Avi (:
Wow, what an amazing collection! Just had to write about your website on my blog. Unbelievable pictures, especially in the travel section (Worst roads etc.)!
The book chair has a disclaimer: No vintage sci-fi was damaged in the production of this object, only pseudo books otherwise known as cheap thrillers and harlequin novels. I'll sit on those.
I really think these disgusting/grotesque animals and angry man in the office/bar/hotel is getting extremely boring... seriously, you"ve done better than that in the past...
awesome listing! it reminded me of the Vampire Squid...i was trying to find a good video of it in action but came up lacking (short from BBC Plantet Earth) its an amazing creature, using 'lights' when it is threatened
Cool pictures. You need to find some of the spider crab. Very cool looking. Also the Tiger's Paw. Another interesting animal, it lives in cracks of coral reefs and all you see is just a little bit sticking out, they are about 60 feet long.
I envy you Mr Blonde! Unfortunately I am on the other side of the world, but at the end of the year I hope to head over to Spain, with the sole intention of seeing Gaudi's buildings. I have been obsessed with his work since I was about 12, borrowing whatever books on his work I could find. I particularly like his drawings, they are awe inspiring, and if anyone has any resource on his drawings, I would love to hear about it!
rowan, when standing on the corner in front of the Casa Milà, be sure to take the LEFT entrance to enter it. The right one lead me and my friends just through the first floor, where we saw drawings from Gaudi and others of his time. The other one lead through all the other floors.
I remember this so clearly, because this earned us much head shaking and some scorn from our local host, who's a proud catalan. He specifically told us to visit this building in the morning, but we took the wrong entrance! He couldn't understand it...
Gaudi changed my mind about architecture. Barcelona is an amazingly vibrant city with its design and the Sagrada Familia and Parc Guell are amazing feats.
Great post. If you like Gaudi, why not check Lluís Muncunill, another great architect (and Gaudi's collaborator) who's not as known but has some impressive work? Just type "Lluís Muncunill" in google images...
The picture of the angular, sorrowful figure is part of the Passion Facade of the Sagrada Familia. This group of sculptures was designed after Gaudi's death by Josep Subirachs, and differs radically in style from everything else there. It's absolutely stunning in person! Here are some pictures from the artists site.
Beautiful and unusual architecture. It's unfortunate that such organic shapes cannot be built as economically as rectangular buildings. That's why you see so few of the former and so many of the latter. That probably also accounts for the fact that construction of the cathedral has taken so long. But the result is undeniably impressive.
Something about that cathedral makes me unfomfortable; it has a vaguely Lovecraftian look to it. As an aside, the first time I did LSD I saw a grocery store melt; it swelled up like a burning marshmallow, then collapsed into a liquid state.
long time browser, first time comment - great post, love the site, so full of useful knowledge and interesting facts - i would almost say that Gaudi himself may have participated in some form of lysergic acid diethylamide; fore the images of his cathedral and earlier works screams of a psychotic nature. beautiful work, IMHO.
Fell onto this page and loved your views, I was in Barcelona 3 Christmas's ago and made a beeline for the Catherdral.It is truely a work of Genius, the basement has a Museum and explains well Gaudi's design theories.He used a tree as the form for spreading weight downwards to 1 slender column.I bought the biggest book on Gaudi and read it before I returned to London,My son has been inspired by Gaudi to study to become An Architect!
The sepia picture associated with Parc Güell is not there but in the small coastal town of Garraf, 20 miles from Barcelona, right here.
It's worth mentioning that "La Pedrera", the informal name of the Casa Milla, means "The Quarry".
I would add to the comment by Anonymous that the work by Subirachs on the Sagrada Familia should not even be part of it and that it would be better to exclude images of his disgraceful insult to Gaudi's work.
19 Comments:
If you like big ones you'll like the "Monster", a German project from WWII, one like many others who will never see the light.
http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Landkreuzer_P._1500_Monster
and it's specs : http://www.panzerschreck.de/panzer/pzkpfw/p1500.html
The Turks did't build their bombard to defend Constantinople, but rather to conquer it in 1453...
you forgot about this beast
http://family.webshots.com/photo/2831657710099247595ddiIQu
they claim that it's the biggest canon (on the wheels) in the world
wow...that's soooo original...making phallic references in an article about artillery. As if engineering weapons with longer range and heavier payload didn't mean bigger?!?
This was a good article ... mostly.
The childish and sexist penis references brought it down, though.
The 'V' in V-weapons stands for vergeltung, not for victor.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vergeltungswaffe
What about the adolf gun?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolf_Gun
Here is many nice pictures
http://hela.com.pl/galerie/trondenes/trondenes-no.htm
Thank you Torbjörn - great tip, will use in next part.
Great topic, poorly written. reads like the author has penis envy problem....
DRB can do and has done much better.
Juvenile writing at best on this one.
What, no mention of the largest caliber???
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_David
Does anyone else think DRB is incredible?
The Turks didn't build their bombard to defend İSTANBUL, but rather to conquer it in 1453...
That Russian "electric cannon" is basically a coil- or Gauss gun isn't it? Has such a large coilgun ever been built?
And about the silentness of such a gun, I wonder to what extent the sound of the shell breaking the sound barrier when fired would match the sound of a conventional gun.
the history of the krupp company is fascinating, you should check william manchester's book, the arms of krupp
hey ,
great site
great concept.
However, your big gun page ain't gonna be complete without the Jaivan from India (
sorry for the national sentiment!)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jaivana_cannon
Re. the so-called "Iraqi Super-gun": I never really understood why everyone was so worried? I mean it's not like you can move the bloody thing around, and concealing it would be a cast-iron bitch. And with todays counter-battery-radars and satellite surveillance....well, let's just say that about 30 seconds after you fire the first shot, everyone and her brother knows, to within a few yards, where your big, precious, sitting-duck supergun is located.
As for the "silent" electromagnetic gun, Bart said: "And about the silentness of such a gun, I wonder to what extent the sound of the shell breaking the sound barrier when fired would match the sound of a conventional gun." Based on my experience (which is not exactly substantial) with silenced magnum-caliber rifles, it won't be quite as loud, and the noise it makes won't "sound like" a cannon firing. I still think everybody in the neighbourhood will be aware that some serious machinery is in operation, though...
Regards & all,
Thomas L. Nielsen
Denmark
"The Turks did't build their bombard to defend Constantinople, but rather to conquer it in 1453..."
Anon is right. Please correct this ASAP.
Nice blog overall.
Changed the Constantinople bit, thank you. The confusion stemmed from the fact that it was built in Hungary.
Gerald Bull had a history of over promoting his projects (like the "Stratosphere Gun"). It is just as likely he was killed by Iraqi agents over failure to deliver as by Mosad.
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