WWII Nazi's Tank Manuals - unexpectedly hilarious!
|
|
 "QUANTUM SHOT" #100How to "blow'em all up!" and have some fun in the process. War is supposed to be a serious business, right? Not according to German WWII technical writers who turned the thick, boring tank manuals for "Tiger" & "Panther" tanks into a "Popular Science"/"Playboy"/comic book combination. These juicy manuals proved to be so popular, that they were even translated into Russian and read throughout the Soviet Army tank corps. I could not find the Russian "link-jacked" versions, but here are a couple of genuine Nazi tank manuals, with full versions readily available on the net. Tiger Tank Manual, 1943  The German "Tiger" Tank was introduced in August 1942 and was at that time the most powerful tank in the world. The success of the Tiger was so profound, that no Allied tank dared to engage it in open combat. This psychological fear soon became to be known as "Tigerphobia". Drivers inside the tank, in the meantime could peruse the following instructions:  Diving the "Tiger" is prestigious, just like driving a "Mercedes":  Going by highway will get you as far as Berlin, but off-road you'll only get to Brandenburg - and it's going to take lots of fuel! -  Good communication is essential for "having a good-time", as well as during wartime:  You should care for tank shells, just as you care for your girl:  Good aim is everything! -  You have to be an artist at heart, to drive a tank:  Aiming your shots right will bring down Ivan faster:  When preparing to shoot, note how fast you're going:  Take good care of your tank! Thousands of German workers toiled endlessly to make sure you get the utmost quality product, and as we know, German engineering does not come cheap:  (source Egland) "Panther" Tank Manual, 1942  "Captured Panthers proved to be extremely popular vehicles among Soviet troops, who received them as rewards for extraordinary achievements in combat, and who sought to keep them in service as long as possible, contrary to regulations that captured Tigers and Panthers should not be repaired but abandoned and destroyed after mechanical failure. Even the humorous instruction manual for German Panther crews, called the Pantherfibel (Panther Primer), was translated into Russian and provided to crews of captured Panthers. (according to this site)           (the full manual is located here) American soldiers could enjoy their own version of technical humour:  and only dead-serious Communists refused to spice up the "T-34" manuals with pictures of pretty Komsomol members. Sources: WorldWar2Aces, Egland, 3DModels Permanent Link...  Category: History,Weird, Military |
Your Comments:
|
|
18
comments
|
READ LATEST POSTS:
|
November 4, 2009 - Quantum Shot #597 Weird Food McDonald's Sells Around the World Spaghetti! Soaked! In Sugarrr! |
|
Biscotti Bits Mixed Links & Images incl. "Marvelous Burj Dubai Fountain Show" |
 |
SFSite"Steampunk Anthology" Reviewed, in All Its Brass Glory Making all sci-fi punks in the world "feel lucky", since 2008 |
COMMENTS:
|
SF ART & BOOK REVIEWS: Don't miss: The Ultimate Guide to SF&F Writers! Fiction Reviews: Alastair Reynolds "Chasm City" Short Fiction Reviews: Lovecraft's "At the Mountains of Madness" (with pics) New Fiction Reviews: The Surreal Office |
MORE RECENT POSTS:
|
The World's Most Magnificent Pipe Organs Simply Blockbusters of Their Time! |
|
Lovely Cowgirls in Vintage Westerns Beauties with guns scorched the screen... and it was good |
|
Weirdest Cell Phones Ever! Totally non-conventional looks and futuristic specs. |
|
British Pubs: Signs of the Times, Part 2 Pub signs are almost like time machines... |
|
Fabulous Las Vegas: Vintage Treasures Part 1: Glamour vs. Kitsch |
|
Incredible Astronomical Clocks Antique and medieval technology blended with art |
|
Battersea, and Other Abandoned Power Stations Part 2 of popular urban exploration series |
|
Hilarious & Crazy Signage Part 13 of this side-splitting series |
|
Living, Growing Architecture Grow your house one root at a time |
|
Alone in the Wild: Yukon Survival Saga How to eat porcupine livers, and more! |
|
Unusual and Marvelous Maps Alternate histories, sea monsters, weird politics |
|
Airships & Tentacles Exclusive Interview with artist Myke Amend |
|
Jet Engines on Trucks (For Fun and Profit) Snow-blowers from hell, and more... |
|
Star Wars for Your Mind, Heart and Soul Part 3 of the popular series |
|
Britain's Colorful Pub Signs, Part 1 A map to your last night adventures |
|
Flying Colors! Creative Paint on Airliners Groovy additions to the fleet... |
|
Walled Cities: Keeping Out the Joneses Highlights of the defensive architecture |
|
Postage Stamps From the Future ...and some alternative realities |
|
The Glamour of Flight: Sexy Stewardesses Part 4 of highly popular series |
|
Flags of Forgotten Countries Don't just wave a black flag... consider your options |
|
Spectacular Steampunk Art Update Part 2 of this eye-popping, mind-boggling series |
MORE OF THE RECENT POSTS:
|
FULL ARCHIVES (with previews, fast loading): September 2009 -- August 2009 -- June-July 2009 -- May 2009 -- April 2009 -- March 2009 -- February 2009 -- January 2009 -- December 2008 -- November 2008 -- October 2008 -- September 2008 August 2008 -- July 2008 -- June 2008 May 2008 -- April 2008 -- March 2008 February 2008 -- January 2008 -- Dec, 2007 November 2007 -- October 2007 -- Sept, 2007 August 2007 -- July 2007 -- June 2007 May 2007 -- April 2007 -- March 2007 February 2007 -- January 2007 -- Dec, 2006 November 2006 -- October 2006 -- Link Lattes |
|
CATEGORIES:
airplanes | animals | architecture | art | auto | boats | books | cool ads | funny pics | famous | futurism | food
gadgets | health | history | humour | japan | internet | link latte | military | music | nature | photo | russia | steampunk
sci-fi & fantasy | signs | space | sports | technology | trains | travel | vintage | weird
Discretion Advised! These cartoons contain some extreme animated violence!
18 Comments:
Haha Nazis had a great sense of humor. I never would have imagined.
Nazi Tanks? I never knew Tanks could have a political view. Maybe you meant German tanks! Just like an American Soldier isn't a Republican soldier doesn't mean all Germans were Nazis, they can have a good sense of humor indeed.
Funny though :)
You know, if only textbook authors can learn from these fine examples on how to motivate readers to keep reading and understanding.
Kathy Sierra may get a kick out of this.
Geesh! Those pictures are amazing! Koodoos on the website you've done a beautiful job on it. My girlfriend would flip shes a photo nut and would definitly be amazed for hours thanks to your blog...LoL
If you understand the descriptions it's even more funny xD
that's how militarism works. make them forget they kill people.
"For every grenade that you fire:
your father paid 100 Reichsmarks in taxes,
your mother worked for a week in a factory,
a train drove 10,000 kilometers!
Think about that before every shot!"
Thats a neat find, who says history is boring?
I recommend a look at the Luftwaffe's 1944 gunnery manual for fighter pilots, the "Schiessfiebel" as approved by famous General Adolf Galland. It abounds in drawings of scantily clad or nude females, accompanied by rhymed instructions, e.g. to explain such concepts as "aspect angle".
The Luftwaffe obviously wanted its pilot to score, one way or the other. See for yourself: http://www.rafiger.de/Homepage/Pages/Schiessfibel.html
That is unbelievable creepy.
I'm sure by 44 the Germans were running a little short on humor, but I could see them being a little cocky in 42 after easily taking over europe, and quickly advancing in Russia. The manual clearly shows how the Germans thought they were invincible.
Oh those Nazis...
Those Nazi's knew funny. Using sex to sell war, better than Detroit using sex to sell cars.
Ron Russell, Author of "Don Carina"
I thought the manuals were funny. Maybe manuals for electronics need to be funny.
What I did not like was the 20 requests to place cookies.
Latvija - what's wrong, you don't like cookies? :)
all cookies are harmless here, its just ad banners doing their normal thing.
Oh my God, those are like those nutty instruction manuals for the
American and British forces.
Same style, same jokes! I swear it must be the same cartoonists doing the work for everybody.
We ARE art whores, you know.
I have to share this with all my comics and cartoonists friends.
I think it was during the Vietnam war that the US Army started publishing PM magazine. It was a cartoon-like magazine full of tips for keeping your weapons and equipment in good working order. At that time the cartoons showed Connie (a 40DD Blonde) and Bonnie (a 40DD black girl) showing how to perform the maintenance. They were often very scantily clad (think Daisy Dukes outfits) as well. Since then PM has cleaned up. Bonnie and Connie have nad breast reductions (34B?) and they have added other characters like a grizzled maintenance NCO, a dashing young aviator, etc. Sigh, those were the days!
Good communication is essential. Reading this blog entry, everyone could learn how to communicate well with fun and more sense of humor.
Post a Comment
<< Home