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"QUANTUM SHOT" #22


Some simple and genius revelations, made by students









Teacher: "Who can tell me what 7 times 6 is?"
Student: "It's 42!"
Teacher: "Very good! - And who can tell me what 6 times 7 is?"
Same student: "It's 24!"



Teacher: What is 2k + k?
Student: 3000!



Q: What is the most erotic number?
A: 2110593!
Q: Why?
A: When 2 are 1 and don't pay at10tion, they'll know within 5 weeks whether or not, after 9 months, they'll be 3...



Theorem. A cat has nine tails.
Proof. No cat has eight tails. Since one cat has one more tail than no cat, it must have nine tails.



One day, Jesus said to his disciples: "The Kingdom of Heaven is like 3x squared plus 8x minus 9."
A man who had just joined the disciples looked very confused and asked Peter: "What, on Earth, does he mean by that?"
Peter replied: "Don't worry - it's just another one of his parabolas."

Speaking about parabolas, here is one more classic:



"Explain the shape of the graph"
Answer: "It's curvy, with a lighter bit at the end and a rather aesthetically pleasing slope downward towards a pretty flat strait bit..."


Source: Immense World



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YOUR COMMENTS::

33 Comments:

Anonymous IDavid said...

The love the expanding example...and the note by the teacher: "very funny Peter" made me lol

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Anonymous markintosh said...

Dugg for the expanding example as well haha

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Blogger tangle_poet said...

i dugg this math entry. I'd have loved to solve stuff that way.

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Anonymous Dangerous said...

Wonderful. Thanks.

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Anonymous Scott said...

Did anyone else catch the error in the limit problem. That first one should be negative infinity.

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Anonymous Duncan Grazier said...

Shouldn't it be zero not infinity or negative infinity?

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol... i like the solve for x "here it is" one... my friend attempted that once... that same friend answered a question with x... where x = the correct answer and got it right simply because our teacher didn't want to deal with it.

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Blogger Joseph Hardin said...

Actually it depends on the direction you approach. If you let x go to 8 from the right side of the number line, it is indeed infinity. From the left it is negative infinity.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

The limit is approaching two different directions(negative infinity and infinity) from different sides. Thus, the limit does not exist.

Haven't any of you taken Calclus before?

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

" The limit is approaching two different directions(negative infinity and infinity) from different sides. Thus, the limit does not exist.

Haven't any of you taken Calclus before?"

Yay! Someone else who isn't a complete idiot on a page about math idiots!

The rest of you should start sending in your homework so we can double the size of this list.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
The limit is approaching two different directions(negative infinity and infinity) from different sides. Thus, the limit does not exist.

This guy wins.
Calculus, for great justice

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

A general limit doesn't exist, but there is a left handed and right handed limit.

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Blogger andy said...

Sorry to break it to you guys...but CALC II talks about divergence of functions. I would recommend reading.

On a side note...Those types of limits are extremely useful in physics. So learn and love them :)

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Blogger Dice said...

@andy:

Also, in physics, we don't worry about minus signs. If something is a positive quantity when it should have been a negative one (which you know from "physical reasoning" ... this is a proof for physicists) you just change the sign. You may also optionally comment "must have lost a minus sign somewhere".

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Haven't any of you taken Calclus before?

Yes -- as well as English and typing ;)

(That 'u' must be around here somewhere)

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Blogger Ritam said...

Scott said...
Did anyone else catch the error in the limit problem. That first one should be negative infinity.

2:39 PM
Duncan Grazier said...
Shouldn't it be zero not infinity or negative infinity?

2:42 PM
Anonymous said...
lol... i like the solve for x "here it is" one... my friend attempted that once... that same friend answered a question with x... where x = the correct answer and got it right simply because our teacher didn't want to deal with it.

2:44 PM
Joseph Hardin said...
Actually it depends on the direction you approach. If you let x go to 8 from the right side of the number line, it is indeed infinity. From the left it is negative infinity.

These can go in as real life jokes.
rotfl no offense

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Blogger Murrapita said...

I loved them all :P.

But there's a little mistake in the joke about Jesus... to have a parabola, you need one of the variables to be squared, but the other one must remain lineal... meaning each one represents an axis (x or y).

So it should be like "3x squared plus 8y minus 9" if the parabola was parallel to Y, or "3y squared plus 8x minus 9"...or whatever, if it was parallel to X.

Sorry for my English.

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Anonymous Rick said...

Proof that Women are Evil


Women consume Time and Money-->
Women = Time*Money
Time is Money--> Time = Money

Substitution --> Women = Money^2

Money is the root of all Evil -->
Money = Sqrt(Evil)

Square both Sides --> Money^2 = Evil

Substitute --> Women = Evil

Enjoy

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Blogger Murrapita said...

Hehehe, that one was cool :P

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Blogger Aakash said...

Its great to see mathematics gaining importance on digg. After Beauty Of Mathematics : via www.nonstopmasti.be this one is yet another example how fond people at digg are of mathamatics.
Proof: As Of Now this post has been dugg 988 times and the post Beauty of mathemagic dugg 1800 times in 5 days. Funny Isnt it???

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Blogger Zen said...

A mathematical limerick:

A dozen, a gross and a score
Plus three times the square root of four
Divided by seven
Plus five times eleven
Is nine squared, and not a bit more

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

I once graded a paper where the student knew the end result but couldn't quite get there because of a zero in the numerator and a zero in the denominator. In a fit of pseudo-genius, the student claimed zero divided by zero was one and his proof worked.

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Anonymous 88ShelbyZ said...

They forgot the annihilator function. Which is something that we made up when we got bored in precal with functions.

The Annihilator Function = The Square root of X divided by the Square Root of -X.

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Anonymous Catharsis said...

Pffft, we made up math related Chuck Norris facts when I was in precalc.

Chuck Norris can make parallel lines intersect.

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Blogger Serge said...

just from my school notebook! 8)
Realy fun!

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Anonymous Pudi-cat said...

i heard of one where it was a SAT's question saying "name the shapes" underneath the triangle they put 'sheila' and under the square 'tom' etc etc

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Duh!! Guys. Sorry but What's so funny about it...

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Anonymous Frank Orr said...

Expand...ROFL

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Anonymous Darin said...

thank you
that's very refreshing
you make me smile this day..
I think that is answer for desperates student who can find the right answer.. :p

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Anonymous Bressan said...

Regarding the limit problem, there is no such thing as negative or positive infinity. Infinity is infinity! That's all!
One more thing: as X approaches 8, the equation approaches to one divided by zero, which in Math means infinity (try yourself...).

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Regarding the limit problem, there is no such thing as negative or positive infinity. Infinity is infinity! That's all!"

That's not true. In simple terms, a limit of infinity means the function increases without bound, while a limit of negative infinity means the function decreases without bound.

The formal definition of

lim(x->a) f(x) = -infinity

would be

For all e in R, e > 0, there exists d in R, d > 0 such that if |x - a| < d, then f(x) < -e

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Anonymous rob said...

@murripita

actually there cant be 2 different variables in the parabola... its right how it is.. because if you have a graphing calculator, you have to have Y= and then the equation. it makes a parabola how it is written.. oyu should check your facts before posting a comment for all the world to see.

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Blogger Nathan said...

"actually there cant be 2 different variables in the parabola... its right how it is.. because if you have a graphing calculator, you have to have Y= and then the equation."

While it is right how it is, there can, in fact be two variables in a parabola. The general form of a parabola is:

(y-k)=a(x-h)^2

The equation doesn't necessarily need to be strictly y= . Defining values for k and h shifts the parabola so that its vertex is not at 0,0. But you are right -- if you wanted to graph it on a calculator, you would need to rearrange some things and isolate the y.

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