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Strangest Christian Products and Signs


"QUANTUM SHOT" #393
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Repent! The End of Good Taste is at Hand

All the inspirational merchandise and signage displayed below, no doubt, was created with the best intentions in mind, but few other considerations (such as good taste?). Most of them are aiming to induce "instant faith" or "instant cleansing" or other "instant some-such". In most cases, though, they only produce an immediate question "What were they thinking?"


(image credit: 3robbers)

"God Beverage" - consists of mostly coffee (we have to agree with that) -


(image credit: Alex Mack)

"Believe in God Instantly" breath spray has already become a classic:
(a minty solution for all your troubles)


(image credit: merch-bot)

"Wash Away Your Sins" air freshener, with a similar idea:


(image credit: John Bullas)

"Omnipotent" cleaner is probably omniscient, as well -


(image credit: Pippa Buchanan)

"Seed of Samson"... eh, seed bars -


(image credit: Buddy Stone)

Some Christian toy-makers should pray more often, as their products clearly lack in good taste and can not possibly entice religious fervor:


(image credit: Taylor)





Deluxe Miracle Jesus -


(image credit: Eddie Dowds)

I doubt this atrocity would ever answer -


(image credit: mattplace)

Jean-Paul II Barometer (changes color, you know) -


(image credit: biker's web)

And in case you were wondering, how they even sell that stuff - here is a sort of instruction:


(image credit: CampOn)

From abominable merchandise, we continue to other strange signs of deep devotion. What follows is, actually, a pretty neat and original project:


LEGO Church Masterpiece

Amy Hughes has created a lasting piece of LEGO awesomeness - with incredible amount of detail (every "special guest" has a story, and the whole thing was created in the loving memory of her cat "Precious"). It took a year and a half to plan and build it, with many pieces obtained in bulk from LEGO stores. Check out all different angles at this page.












(images credit: Amy Hughes)

For the whole story of the Bible made with LEGO, see this site: The Brick Testament

By the way, if you ever wondered what LEGO fans mean when they say "Dark Ages": it's a term to describe the years between putting down LEGO as a child and picking it back up as an adult.

There are many "Jesus-mobiles" in existence, all unique and strange in varying degrees - and perhaps a subject for separate post. Here is just one example:


(image credit: Brian)

Nearby is the "Salvation Mountain" (Niland, Imperial County, California)


(image credit: Brian)

The Award for the Most Miserable Nativity Scene in the World, goes to this structure:


(image credit: Will Jennings)

Check your Rapture Index (online):



Apparently, the "rapture index" of this cat is "through the roof" -


(image credit: Nobiiru)

Finally, perhaps you might tell us, what on earth ARE these bloated white things, displayed at one Christian Bookshop? -


(image credit: Louise Oldfield)


T-Shirts that caught our eye

Some of them are interesting enough to attract attention:


(image credit: Erika N)





As a foot note: "If there's MySpace in your afterlife, you didn't go to heaven."

Speaking of MySpace, in this life - here is a pretty cool Christian MySpace theme
(designed by these radical T-shirt guys) -


(image credit: c28)

Jesus as Starbucks Lady??


(images credit: J. D. Harper)

Some of the t-shirts are simply too weird:



Can't make up your mind? Then wear these:



I don't know what's worse -




Signage that's truly "not of this world"

And sometimes not with a lot of sense, either. How would you like to drive behind a truck that asks you "Are you ready to meet Jesus?" Er... not yet!


(image credit: Sebastian J. Bauer)

You'd feel pretty comfortable behind a car with "God in it" -


(image credit: Badger 23)

Signs and billboards with pretty heavy meaning:


(image credit: John Evans)




(image credit: Armante)

And I have to admit, this one is absolute classic:


(image credit: Billboardom)

"O ye of little faith!"... If walking on water is a miracle, then driving on water should be doubly so:



What does a Christian restaurant look like in Shinjuku, Tokyo? Here is "Christon Cafe"' interior:


(image credit: Adrian Bailon)

An idea for Steve Jobs?


(image credit: Gary Paulson)


(image credit: Sixteen)


Some other interesting quasi-religious occasions:

The definition of tolerance:



Hold On!



Well, regardless of our blunders and feeble attempts at advertising, it's pretty obvious that there are larger forces at play in our Universe... Let's just hope they have the sense of humour! -


(image credit: Céline Bacques)


(click to enlarge; image courtesy NASA)

Also Read: Religion can be funny!, Church Signs & Bulletin Bloopers

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Category: Funny Pics,Signs

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YOUR COMMENTS::

26 Comments:

Blogger bb said...

i like the way that longcat seems to pop up here every now and then

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Blogger mpb said...

And how do you sell all of these wonderful products? Why, through Christvertising of course!

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Blogger Lucia said...

christvertising = WIN
mpb, you've just killed me with that link

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Tremble" does not have the sense of "Be afraid". It simply means "aspen" in French and is probably just an indication of the tree species along a forested path.

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Anonymous Andyman said...

You may want to check your eyes. Two Marys and a St. Francis do not a Nativity make. Unless, of course it's an alternative lifestyle manger scene.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think Eliot Spitzer could use a couple of cases of those air fresheners...

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

The answer to the bloated white things = As they said in the movie 'Meatballs', "Some kind of Meat"

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

I still havn't seen anything to quite match the sheer off-handed tackiness of this little gem that dropped through my letterbox one day:

http://www.bikersweb.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?t=16641

HWS

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

The nuns are part of a set - 'Racing Nuns'. You pull them back and they move forward; I have some.

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Anonymous David Harmon said...

That truck has "are you ready to meet Jesus" on the wrong side! (At least for American trucks!) Or perhaps the right side should simply add... "Now?"

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Blogger Marrock said...

And if you want to buy any of these 'wonderful' items, this bus can take you there: http://tinyurl.com/2bbb6m

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Blogger elve said...

It's a fantastic line up.

I'm also wondering why they use the French name 'Jean' for the pope, while the man actually was Polish (which would make something like Johannus), while he was in fumction in Rome (Giovanni) and the money value is in english Pound (John).

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Blogger Lemons said...

One of my friends has the pink magic 8-ball Jesus. It makes for much late-night amusement-- when asked "should we make cookies tonight?" it responded with "hallelujah!"

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Anonymous katrina said...

I'm surprised no one's sent you these sculptures, which were in a window display of a local bookstore. I could only find these two links to pictures of them -- one was just taken with a cellphone camera, the other has been Photoshopped. But you get the idea.

http://didipusrex.multiply.com/photos/album/6/Camphone_Shots#5.jpg

http://isabetlog.multiply.com/photos/album/83/Need_A_Hero

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ooh, but how could you leave out Nunzilla?
http://www.artistcraftsman.com/catalog/W012491.jpg

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

What does it mean that the Deluxe Miracle Jesus action figure is right next to the Freddie Mercury action figure?

FLASH! Aaahhh!, He's a Miracle!

___  
Blogger Grace said...

I'm adding you to my favorites column. And I do own the Wash Your Sins Away lip balm....it's a long story. It's old-red-wine flavored.

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Blogger Cyd Watts said...

Priceless, if horrifying. Incidentally, the "white bloaty things" I figured out: they're those weird beanbag bookmarks for putting in your bible, I guess so you won't lose your place while you're genuflecting.

And the "Gay black Jewish klansmen for peace" was an idea conceived by Julian Thomas Reid, who lives, oddly, not farm from Smyrna, Georgia but was, in fact, in no way involved. Loved the purple robes with green stars of David!

Julian, by the way, is not black or gay; just Jewish.

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Blogger Mark Knowles said...

Love these photos. All in one place too. Thanks for sharing.

I am a long time Christian baiter myself, so I understand where you are coming from LOL

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Anonymous Building self esteem said...

I cannot remember the last time I spent so long on a blog. You have some very interesting stuff here. I enjoyed my visit.

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Anonymous Steampunk goggles said...

I'm still rolling around after seeing the Crusaders costumes! So funny and so ridiculously wrong.

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Blogger kike said...

siguen vendiendo a Dios... no se porque? gracias por las imágenes justo me sirvió para algo que ví el día de hoy

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Anonymous rangergordon said...

Could those "blasted white things" be ... geoducks?

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Anonymous Brian said...

If it weren't for cyd watts confirming the existence of the Gay black Jewish klansmen for peace, I would have assumed them to be fake, after reading the fine print below which says: Spoungebob Squarepants fan club meetings in Tyron's mom's basement Every Wednesday at 7:30PM

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Love the iGod billboard. Confirms my belief that placing the letter 'i' before any product name is a surefire way to attract idiots!

___  
Blogger Tallis said...

Thank you for making me laugh and reinforcing the idiocy of religion.

___  

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