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"QUANTUM SHOT" #321
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See previous parts here.

If you're lost, you can use these ridiculous signs for an excuse

The cryptic & bizarre signs proliferate, and the chance of meeting one of these examples of poor spelling, ignorance or sheer neglect are getting higher. Try driving to some backwater towns in a 100 mile radius and you'll see something worth posting in our next collection. Less than 2 months have passed since out last installment, and here we go again:

Traffic is never boring this way...




The Lanes are Weird Tonight, Sir:




(images credit: skyscrapercity)




Good sign, bad location:




Pedestrians are in for an adventure:






Zmemph says: "It must be some kind of Moonwalker sign, i.e. Michael Jackson may not enter this area :)"


Something interesting transpires ahead:





(image credit: Mike Goodwin)






(image credit: Lorenz Brandner)





Some special warnings and incredible advice


(image credit: Delina)



(image credit: swanksigns)

Please do not fart while carrying box:


(image credit: John Goodridge)



Get off motorbike when come in the theater!



This Russian sign advices:
"Please do not touch naked wires with your wet hands. The wires are getting rusty." -



Another harsh-sounding Russian sign:
"This bomb shelter is full. Hide in the features of the landscape"
(something you definitely do not want to read when the need comes...) -



This is in Hebrew, it says:
"This room is for you to relieve yourself from gas in your bowels"
(apparently after the medical tests are over. You don't want to accidentally wander into this room) -


(image credit: Exler)

Good advice:
(kind of like Douglas Adams's "Don't Panic")


(image credit: Emily)

Another good advice:



Speaking of advice... Tips for artists:


(poster by By John Baldessari)

This is a warning in itself. Would you have an appointment with this doctor?


(image credit: Jill Coleman)


Bizarre Prohibitions





(images credit: Engrish)










No members of the Yakuza allowed?




Signs for every occasion


















Good use in advertisement:




Interaction with animals is never trivial!


(original unknown)



(images credit: Engrish)




Monkeys are a problem... why shouldn't they be?


(image credit: V. Mason)


Places with Weird Names

For those geographically inclined:


(image credit: Scott Rench)

"Badfart" is close to "Middlefart", see info here (thanks Jimmy)









(images credit: oddee)


Don't Steal the Bikes

"Please don't steal the bikes. It's impolite."
(seen in Toronto)


(image credit: Sam Javanrouh)



(image credit: Sarah/)


Outdoor Store Signs

The power of the brand-name sign:
Fast Food (?) in Mexico:



"Starbucks" in India:



Here the brand names themselves are bogus:




Traditional Bathroom Section


(image credit: xetark)

Creative WC door idea:




Witty Stickers and such


(image credit: Jerm9ine)

Straight to the point:






This is the most candid "disclaimer" we've seen so far:



Another "say it like it is" occasion:



Interesting:



This explains it:


(image credit: Signs of Life by Dave Askwith & Alex Normanton)

Negative Sale:

Was $249.99
Became $259.99
Profit - MINUS $10


(original unknown)



(sent in by Chris Davis)





It's English, but with enhanced hilarity:



This is clearly a winner. I dare you to read it with a straight face:


(images credit: Engrish)


Great Packaging:






Labels & Instructions




(image credit: oddee)

Dehydrated Water??


(image credit: David Reeves)

Recycle, then kill yourself:


(image credit: pingmag.jp)

Check out this wonderful series of manual / instructions from China, advising us not to do various unspeakable things with a:

Remote:



Heating Unit:



Calculator:




Get to Work!




Mystery Signs!

Any ideas welcome!






(images credit: swanksigns)

UPDATE: the last sign means "do not drive your car with headlights on, switch them off" (thanks Largo and Maribert)

"Broken bed" sign appear to be French ad campaign for Viagra!
(thanks Pigliapost)



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YOUR COMMENTS::

25 Comments:

Blogger largo said...

I am pretty sure the last sign, the one with the two empty circles, means that everyone should drive witht their car lights no matter the time of the day

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Blogger Eden said...

That one about yesterday, today and tomorrow is at the entrance to Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom (there may be a similar sign at Disneyland).

___  
Blogger Jimmy said...

Of course Badfart is just up the road from Middelfart .. the Middelfart Tourist Bureau is here: http://www.middelfartturist.dk/

___  
Anonymous Ryben said...

The middle mysterious sign looks like a flash/hermes/mercury helmet so i guess it means "don´t run".

First sign may be "don´t broke the bed = don´t broke the sleep = be quiet"

___  
Blogger Fett101 said...

"No members of the Yakuza allowed?"

No tattoos (which often does mean membership in a gang though)

Probably posted in an Asian bath house.

___  
Blogger The Anti-Jihadist said...

I wonder why the Japanese have to put ninjas in their instructions.

Hilarious!

___  
Blogger pigliapost said...

The broken bed is a french ad for some viagra-like pills :)

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/87/238515710_0f111104a6_m.jpg

___  
Blogger Avi Abrams said...

thanks for the info, guys!
what fun.

___  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your second "mystery sign" looks like the helmet worn by the original version of the comic book character "The Flash", which suggests that one not take flash photographs.

___  
Blogger dan rosol said...

SHADES OF DEATH!!!!! THATS IN NEW JERSEY!!!! ive driven on it many a time and even gotten a flat tire on it haha

___  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Bådfart", means ferry... It's not a place.

___  
Anonymous Axel said...

It's nice to see that Torontonians hold firmly to the myth of Canadian politeness. In future installments, please try to date and locate the items wherever possible.

___  
Anonymous Qafqa said...

the one with the "bogus" brand names is actually pretty funny; all of them are Japanese puns: "kani" means crab, "uuma", horse; in "sakedas", "sake" is salmon; in "kanidas", "kani" is crab again; "kuma" is bear.

___  
Anonymous Mikko said...

The one from a Japanese metro train is a photoshop:

http://www.snopes.com/photos/signs/metro.asp

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Anonymous jojo said...

Here is a better translation to the sign in Hebrew:

"Relieving yourself freely (burping and farting) is allowed (and desirable) in this room. The release will help calming down the stomachaches that appear after the medical exam."

___  
Blogger maribert said...

A red circle always signifies (or should signify) something you are not allowed to do. So the two lights in a red circle should, on the contrary, mean that you must not continue beyond this signs with your headlights on, i. e. you must switch them off.

___  
Anonymous Greenwink said...

The second sign of the helmet with wings is a warning? There be Vikings ahead.

___  
Anonymous Peng Li Li said...

The Japanese pictures with ridiculous warnings are not Japanese pictures. They are written in Chinese.

___  
Blogger Ben said...

I have the can of dehydrated water, they were given out at a food show years ago. I keep mine in the the kitchen cabinet with the rest of the canned goods.

___  
Anonymous Shotje said...

the sign with "free wireless.." on it, is from the Hans Brinker budget hotel, i've worked there a couple of days, and yes i'm from holland, so i'm srry for my bad english

___  
Anonymous Mackin said...

The last sign is the bicycle one, but someone must have removed everything but the wheels...

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Blogger Avi Abrams said...

Mackin - that sounds about right.

___  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"The Japanese pictures with ridiculous warnings are not Japanese pictures. They are written in Chinese."

It is not. It is a Japanese product with ridiculous japanese warnings that have Traditional Chinese translations.

Please, don't steal.

___  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Apprently that "dehydrated water" is still being manufactured and sold lol

http://www.bernardfoods.com/foodservice/beverages/dehydatedwater.htm

___  
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