"QUANTUM SHOT" #256
Love, Joy, Respect, Indifference, Cold Hate, Rage, Murder (or Divorce)... Repeat?
Navigate the romantic landscape with this humorous collection of photos & observations, and you should not fall down... or at least you'll fall not often and not "very" fatal. (in a way this page is a follow-up to our older post)
First, the honeymoon puts a veil of willful blindness over our eyes and makes us oblivious to... common sense. But this is how love supposed to be, definitely not sane.
We start to see hearts everywhere:
(image credit: Steve Stone)
(images credit: Botinok)
(image credit: Laura Ward)
Not only hearts, but... other things:
(image credit: Formula Andy)
More such natural "bloopers" are here (nsfw)
Love is a game:
(image credit: snnantn)
Soon we realize we need protection:
We'd better focus wholeheartedly on what we're doing:
and try to ferry our parents-in-law as far away as possible:
We begin to be obsessive about our personal hygiene:
or develop obsessive eating habits:
But in the end, the blissful moment brings even the opposites together:
We all know that guy's mind is slightly different from girl's mind:
so sometimes a veritable "The War of the Roses" can develop. It usually starts with the "toilet wars":
Soon you realize that maybe you did something wrong, but it's too late now:
One way to save the situation is to prescribe a laughing gas to a scolding wife:
and start using position 6 more often:
"What a sleeping position can say about a couple"
1. - couples, where the woman depends on her man
2. - older man / very young girl couples
3. - after having an argument
4. - after a long day at work.
5. - their relationship is in peril
6. - they trust each other.
A typical conversation between a COMPUTER PROGRAMMER and his wife.
A typical conversation between a husband who returns late from work as a computer programmer and a house wife.
Husband :"Good Evening Dear, I'm now logged in."
Wife : Have you brought the ring ?
Husband : Bad command or filename.
Wife : But I told you in the morn...
Husband : Erroneous syntax.
Wife : What about my new blouse ?
Husband : Variable not found ...
Wife : At least, give me your Credit Card, I want to do some shopping.
Husband : Sharing Violation. Access denied ...
Wife : Do you love me or do you only love computers or are you just being funny ?
Husband : Too many parameters. Abort!...
Wife : It was a grave mistake that I married an idiot like you.
Husband : Data type mismatch.
Wife : You are a useless nut.
Husband : Default Parameter.
Wife : What about your Salary ?
Husband : Access denied. File in use...
He proceeds to the shower and spends there all evening!
Wife : What took you so long?
Husband : You gave me a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."
How to be politically correct with your wife
She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.
She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.
She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.
She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.
She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
She is not TOO SKINNY - She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.
She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS - She is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.
She does not GO SHOPPING - She is MALL FLUENT.
She is not an AIR HEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.
She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE
And remember -
Things that are NOT conductive to romance:
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